I don’t go thru ppls pictures on their phone cause I wasn’t raised in the jungle
*every highschool student when the teacher doesn’t show up after 2 minutes* “you know there’s a rule where if the teacher’s not here after 15 minutes we can just leave”
Dreams would be much more fun if they were multi-player servers that other sleeping people could join.
My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow
you know when you say something
and it’s just
why the fuck did i say that
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other